Dreaming Reality
by Nixel
Summary: There are some experiences that will change you and sepparate you from everybody else. Ginny and Tom are one. (One shot, please R&R)


Disclaimer: We all know that this is "fanfiction", which means that characters are borrowed.  
  
Dreaming Reality  
  
Once born, and you're forever there Forever chained to my soul Even in death we're meant to be together To be in fire, water, air, earth.  
  
Dear Diary,  
I'm sorry I haven't written to you for a while. I was busy celebrating Halloween with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and others, and now I am exhausted. I don't even enjoy my act anymore. That is so boring to put a show that I'm in love with Harry. I can still remember the sweet feeling from the time when I really was but that was so long ago, before it happened I was different then: naïve, innocent, caring. And at the end of my first year, I changed. The images when a part of me was living in Tom during his last day are still burning inside of me. From the moment I lost consciousness and Tom got his body, a part of me was in him. I actually saw how Harry came in the Chamber and fought the Basilisk. I felt how Tom's energy was leaving his body when Harry destroyed the Diary.  
I died that day, and then I was reborn, but different. I pretend to be the same to my friends, but they would have been surprised to know a lot of things about me, like the fact that I have a diary. They thought that my first experience was enough to kill the desire to share myself forever.  
But I had died then, so I am different from what they had thought. I am never alone now. I just can't be because he is with me. Tom is always with me from the day he died in the Chamber. And he will be with me even after my death, since we are different parts of the same soul, our soul. I hate him; hate him for what he had done with me. He is the only one who can make me feel anything, other than emptiness. That is why I love him. He can't control my body anymore, but he is a part of my soul and can make me feel. He can give me images and his memories, his thoughts. Night is his time. When it's dark, and I dream he can give me all he has and take all of what I have. We are together in the night. Our love, hate and lust for each other mix together creating the most powerful passion that could ever exist. There is no other way, because we are the one and can't be apart...  
In a few minutes I will finish telling you this, my diary and I will do what is my brightest dream and my darkest fear. I will go to sleep, opening myself to him, giving Tom the power over my mind and soul. He will gladly accept them and begin his reign. At first he will make me pay for all those nights when I drank Dreamless potion. And I drank it for the past few months, but not today. I feel too empty and miss his control too much. Yes, he will make me suffer. Even now I can feel the anger burning in the darkest edges of the soul. He is angry with me and he will get his revenge. At first, he will show me the images of the Dark Forces ruling the world and killing all the innocent people. He will show me how Deatheaters are torturing all of my family and friends. He is always the one to play with my feelings whether from the past or present.  
Then his torture will become different and more personal. He found out that he could do it after I spent a night with Harry. It was wrong, but I did it because he looked so much like Tom that evening: dark hair, black clothes, bad attitude. Harry was drunk, and grieving. In the morning he couldn't remember what happened, so he doesn't even know what we did together. Tom on the other hand knows. Tom knows that we can never be together physically in this world, but he feels his power over me even though he can't control my body. We both know that he owns me...  
When he wants to make my suffering very personal and real, he shows me his memories. Memories of different girls moaning under him while giving away their bodies and hearts. That hurts. Hurts more when you can imagine and the worst part is that it turns my lust for Tom on full power. My body aches for him, but he continues to show those memories until I'm screaming in anger and pain. Only then would he stop, but not for long, giving me a few minutes in the dark to continue his torture with more efficiency.  
The new images would include me being raped by one of the men I really hate: could be Lucius or Draco Malfoy, could be any of the Deatheaters, or Severus Snape, but never Tom. He knows that if he would be the rapist the torture would be turned into something different, something both of us would enjoy. It was he, who taught me how to extract pleasure from pain when he is the one taking me.  
Sometimes when Tom is really angry with me it would be a large ballroom with me tied naked to a pole right in the middle of it. It would be full of Deatheaters: most of them in masks, but those of them whom I knew would be without. They would humiliate me, finger me, force my body to twist and turn under their touch, and then they would take me against my mind's will but my body would betray me. While the Deatheaters would be having their fun, Tom would be standing somewhere at the side and look me in the eyes. That look in the eyes would be the hardest thing to bear, but at the end I would always black out. When I would have my consciousness back, I would be in the dark. Nothing would tell me about the size of this room or open space. The only thing seen around would be a full-length mirror in the old-fashioned frame standing in a bright beam of light. I would make two steps that separate me from this mirror and look into it, not "at" but "through" it. Tom would be standing there looking calmly at me with his dark blue eyes. I would tell him that I hate him and a second later I would ask him if he forgave me. He would never answer; just raise his hand to touch the glass right in front of my heart. Then I would come even closer while putting my hand to his and the glass would disappear. Tom would silently take my hand and help me to step through the frame. Then he would bring his lips to mine: slowly at first, but then deepening the kiss. Getting lost in our first joining for the whole night I never notice, how does the setting change. When the kiss ends I always find myself together with Tom in some interesting place. It could be a medieval ball or astronomy tower at dawn or some beautiful place for a picnic or expensive restaurant. He never fails to surprise me. We would have some unforgettable time that always ends with me screaming out his name in the moment of passion and whispering my love to him.  
The moment those words pass my lips I would feel Tom's control over the night fade just when I need it the most. I would find myself back in my own bed sweaty and with aching muscles. To ease the tension I would take a long hot shower. When I will finally relax, I would come out of the bathroom and to the large mirror hanging on the door of the closet. Leaning naked against the smooth, cold surface I would look into the reflection of my eyes, seeing the reflection of dark blue ones, with fire burning inside of them. Getting lost in the moment of dreaming reality I will promise to the soul of mine and of my soul-mate that I will return to him...always. 


End file.
